The more you feel, the more you heal.

“The more you feel, the more you heal. ”Perhaps this is a confusing statement to some, as many people think that “feeling less” equals feeling better. The latter could be true from a medical point of view where the success of treatment is measured by how much the pain, physical or emotional, can be numbed or eliminated with medication or other interventions.

The brain/body connection

From my perspective, the body and brain are mutually dependent on each other and are inseparable; that is, anything that affects one will affect the other. This means that; 

• If you have pain in your body it will influence your psyche, and if you have mental distress it will manifest in your body. 
• Pain, in either body or mind, needs to be felt, pondered, investigated and treated. 
• The “treatment,” refers to finding what in the brain/body system is out of balance, and how the imbalances can be corrected.

The physical and emotional healing processes both require that you stay present and conscious of what you are feeling and experiencing. Therefore, as you and your doctor or therapist navigate the journey toward functional well being; you need to be at the steering wheel to tell your provider what feels better, worse or the same.

My client; Peter

To make the above concept more tangible, let’s use my client “Peter” as an example. Peter is a good-looking, athletic 27-year-old man, who since he was 16 years old has been suffering from debilitating, periodic headaches. He has seen every doctor there is to be seen and has tried a wide variety of medical and alternative modalities to no avail.  He ended up in my office as he had been told it was probably coming from tight muscles in his neck. He was unable to answer when he feels the headaches the most as in his experience they come on randomly; he can be at home, at work or with friends.  However, lately the pain has been more frequent. As we explored a bit further we discovered that there is actually a pattern to his headaches; they occur every time there is the slightest prospect of having to interact with a young woman. His recent change of jobs has doubled the chances of female encounters.

Finding the source

While this newfound awareness is disturbing to him, he confirmed the pattern the following week. However, he is very confused as to why being around women would provoke headaches, he loves women.

Sure enough the headaches were a result of tension in the neck, and the rest of his body. However, treating his tight muscles was not going to provide sustained relief, so we needed to dig deeper to uncover the source of his tension. We discovered that the root of his misery is a very critical mother who instilled in him early on that he is useless and that he would never be able to impress or date a woman. In his brain, this maternal abuse translated into an association between women and degradation, and an unconscious fear of being humiliated.  Thus with every prospect of a female interaction his whole body would seize up and immediately trigger the headache. The latter would in turn give him a legit reason to excuse himself from many social events, and this avoidance served as fuel for the vicious cycle of anxiety and pain that he was living.

Changing the patterns

Knowing what was going on with him did not cure the headaches overnight, but it opened the door to change things. By cultivating awareness of both his physical and emotional self, he started to feel what was actually going on with him during contact with women. Little by little he was able to quiet the old triggers, lower the anxiety and change his behavior. However, the change in behavior did not happen by awareness alone. As we know, Peter’s emotional trauma manifested as headaches and bodily tension, and was triggered by his fear of interacting with women. In order to undo this pattern the healing process had to include the body so that the neuromuscular networks that were activated by his triggers could be reprogrammed.  The latter cannot happen unless the body and brain work as a team. In Peter’s case, we used movement, breath and manual manipulation to ground his newfound emotional awareness in his body. 

New Pains

Peter’s tight muscles were responsible for his physical tension, and in addition they also created an imbalanced pull on the skeletal bones, leading to misalignment of the joints. For most people, structural (skeletal) misalignment is a source of pain as it activates nerve endings sensitive to pain in the muscles, joints and fascia. In Peter’s case, the headaches had been so strong that they overrode pain caused by his musculoskeletal misalignment. As our work progressed, his headaches subsided, but every week a new pain showed up in a different place in his body. Peter needed much reassurance to stay calm as the various pains emerged, and I discouraged him from asking “Doctor Google” about his symptoms. It took a few months of full commitment to our sessions and the homework I gave him, before he started to feel the changes both in his body and mind.

Reprogramming the brain

It takes time and effort to reprogram neuromuscular patterns, as the brain is stubborn and likes to hold onto what is familiar, even if the familiar is dysfunctional. However, with enough repetition and novelty, the brain eventually accepts and integrates the new way of being and moving in the world.  One thing that added an extra challenge with Peter was the fact that he was very fit. While we are accustomed to equating fitness and health, it is not necessarily so.  In Peter’s case, having a perfect-looking body had served as a survival mechanism for his feeling of “being less than.” Prior to working with me nothing would stop him from exercising, and this diligent work out regime had solidified many of his neuromuscular tracks. On days when he was in pain he would take painkillers before going to the gym, and by numbing the pain he reinforced the imbalances and misalignment.

The “cure” is to listen to the body

As part of Peter’s healing process he learned to listen to his body. He reluctantly agreed to go to the gym only when he felt that his body was cooperating and pain-free. He also retired his whole arsenal of pain medication.

After treating Peter for six months he now moves with much more fluidity and ease, his muscles and bones are interacting biomechanically correct, and his body is functionally strong.  He still feels anxiety in interaction with women, but he understands where it is coming from, and he is able to separate old triggers from what is really happening in the moment.

The question is not how to be cured, but how to live.Unknown Author

Human capacity to heal

Going back to where we began, Peter’s story illustrates the power of feeling and awareness, and the importance of going beyond the symptoms to finding the source of the pain in the body.  The healing process he went through felt like an emotional rollercoaster to him, but he was able to trust the process and tolerate the ups and downs while knowing it was temporary. 

Peter’s journey is a good illustration of our ability as human beings to change if we are willing to put in the time and effort.  The plasticity of our brains allows for much change, learning and healing to occur, and while the process might be challenging, the reward is the gift of a less anxiety-driven and more peaceful life.